Making Amends

Yesterday was an interesting day.  Things are still moving in many directions all at once and it’s hard to keep up with it all sometimes.

We are back on course for taking the too-small apartment that Mini-Me has been staying in.  Her situation hasn’t really changed or improved the way we’d all hoped and she still needs help, I’m convinced that with a little creative storage ideas that I can make it a home for Draco and myself once Mini-Me finds another job and moves out (which has been the plan since we first talked about doing this).

I don’t really talk about Mini-Me’s on again, off again, boyfriend, “The Thing”.  The reason why I don’t is because he has done some things during his relationship with Mini-Me (including getting his ex-girlfriend pregnant) that have really ticked me off.  He’s not been allowed at my house in months now because every time I tried to get over being mad at him, it seemed like he would do something stupid again and I’d be left to pick up the pieces of Mini-Me’s broken heart.  In my opinion, he hasn’t done anything even remotely redeeming – until tonight.

Mini-Me came up earlier to get L’s dogs in for her, something she does for her every night since she lives on the same street as us.  We got to talking and she told me that The Thing was once again at her house.  They’d had a big blow-up last weekend over his ex-girlfriend (now his Baby-Mama), and I thought she was finally done with him.  I should have known better since they’ve been doing this for over a year now, but a mother can hope.

As we talked, I told her she better enjoy it while she could because next weekend, Draco and I will be moving in, and with my feelings about The Thing, he wouldn’t be coming back there except to pick her up if she continued to see him.  She got a strange look on her face and got quiet.

I asked her what was going on.  Had he moved in?  She said that he kind of has, and that they are planning to get their own place as soon as they can after we get moved down there, they just can’t put it together in time before Mini-Me would have to leave, and that was going to be before her dad and I could get there to help.

So, he’s moved in till we get there and he’s reasoning to Mini-Me was that he didn’t want her to lose the apartment because we wanted it.  He was going to help her hold on to it till we got there….for us…

Considering our relationship, this took me completely by surprise.  I wasn’t sure how to take it, really.  I was surprised and shocked, and yes, a little touched by the sentiment.

So, although I’m still not certain how all this will turn out, and I do have my doubts as to if he’s really changed all that much or not, I am trying to give him the benefit of the doubt for the moment and we’re trying to make amends between us, which has made Mini-Me deliriously happy.

I talked to Draco earlier and told him about all of it and I pointed out to him that if him and Mini-Me are going to live together, then according to our personal beliefs, they are as good as married.  That means that since she fully intends to be as much of a mother to his daughter as Baby-Mama will allow (they have an on and off friendship), that makes her our granddaughter, just as much, if not more than, Little Diva.  That means we have a grandchild who’s life we are missing because of my feelings for The Thing.  I can’t do that.  If my daughter intends to help raise this little girl, then I want to know her, and the only way to be able to do that is to make amends with The Thing somehow.

I’ll be honest though, it actually feels kind of good to be letting go of the anger I’ve felt towards him, and I have no doubt that my recent spiritual experiences are helping me to be able to do that.

Have you ever held a grudge or lasting anger towards someone and then let it go?  How did you feel?  Let me know what you experienced in the comments!

Blessings )O(