Monthly Archives: December 2012
It’s no secret that while I love WordPress, their Android App leaves much to be desired, so I’m trying something different. We’ll see how it goes.
So far, I like that I can add colored text, but we’ll see if that stays when I publish. I don’t like that I don’t see a way to schedule posts…hmmm.
So, Mini-Me has been home a week (just over), and so far, things are going mostly okay. There have been a few bump-ups, which I was expecting, but so far, they haven’t been completely horrible.
Her and Draco seem to be repairing some of the damage Mini-Me has done to their relationship, and although they still sometimes bicker, they’re also laughing and spending time together again, which does my heart good.
Last night, I did something I rarely do. I got a little drunk.
There is a reason this is rare. I tend to say what’s on my mind even more under the influence of alcohol than normal (I don’t have a very good filter for what I should and shouldn’t say under the best circumstances).
Anyway, Draco is an artist, and Mini-Me is an aspiring one, and she has been asking Draco to do a particular drawning for her for a while. He says he will, but he’s also the king of procrastination and never gets around to it. (He’s been reading-which is new- and playing Assasian’s Creed in all his free time.)
Yesterday was another promised dead-line missed and she got upset. after their “talk”, Draco and I went outside and I told him what I thought. Quite bluntly.
We didn’t argue because Draco heard the truth in what I said, but I know it could have been handled better had I not been drinking.
In other news, my Saturday trip to the library has yielded some interesting results. I picked up a book on Shamanism and Power Animals and have gotten almost half-way through it. It has somewhat changed my definitions on totem animals and I realized my Power Animal is not what I would have thought, but that is what I should have thought.
Let me explain.
Given the explination in the book, there are a number of ways to figure out if you already have a Power Animal, including some questions you can ask. Wanting an unbiased opinion, I asked Draco what he thought. His answer left me shaking my head at first, but as he explained his reasonings, I began to see it.
Left to my own assumptions, I would have automatically said the Wolf and been done. They have always fascinated me and I felt my first kinship with it when I was a child. Asked for a different answer and I would have claimed the Raven. I have an adult kinship with them, they are sacred to the Goddess Hecate, and I have felt drawn to Her service since my mother passed. The Ravens have been calling and watching since she became ill (at least more noticably). I could have also said Owl, which have followed me through my entire adult life.
Draco said none of these things. Draco said, “the Tiger”.
I’m sure I looked at him with a confused expression. I know I felt confused.
But as he explained, I thought. I have white tiger figures packed in storage that haven’t seen daylight in years. The one animal I have tattooed on my body is a white tiger on my right shoulder. I also have this:
on my phone.
Why wouldn’t I think Tiger?
So, I spent most of the morning reading about Tigers as Totems and Power Animals and I realize that it makes sense.
I’m working on a series of posts about my Power Animal and my Spirit Animals (wolf, owl, raven) and how they have effected my life, but that will have to wait until I finish them.
For now, I am wishing my tigers were not packed up nearly 3 hours away and I intend to do some intentional dreaming tonight and communicate with the spirit of the Tiger and see if he will offer me any insight.
Today, I took a leap of faith and began the process of bringing PoM to where I want it to be. I have signed up with a review company and will be (hopefully) starting to do product reviews soon.
I don’t intend to turn my blog into a review machine and not blog like I usually do. Reviews will most likely be one or two out of the week and will be in addition to my regular blogging.
At some point in the near future, I am also supposed to do a give-away for my own business (that Mini-Me and I will be running) at a friend’s blog (we’re still working out the details there) and I will be reopening that business officially on January 1st.
To say that starting 2013 will be different from any so far is an understatement. Mini-Me lives with us, is currently job-hunting and volunteering at the Equine Rescue three days a week, Draco still works (and I’m still the only person in the house that can drive), I’m reopening the business I closed last summer, I still intend to blog and doing reviews means stepping up my social media presence. I will be busy, busy, busy whie I work on balancing all of this and still have time for connecting with my spirituality and my family.
Needless to say, this will be my last round caring for my landlady’s pets while she is away. If I find time to give pets, other than my own, a piece of me, I will go volunteer at the local SPCA where the demand is not all day, every day. I love them all, and I’ve enjoyed it, but I honestly don’t see me having time for much besides what I’m already committed to.
(I see me blogging on my phone in parking lots and carrying a craft-bag on my shoulder everywhere I go to optimize my time usage as it is.)
Needless to say, I’m all kinds of excited, but I know that what I’m undertaking is huge. I’m sick of empty, mindless hours watching TV shows that are surely killing my brain cells faster than any drug ever could.
For years, I avoided having a full life, so afraid that if I attempted anything, it would be another failure. Something else for my mother to shake her head in disdain over. Well, Mom is gone now and I see the damage years of brainwashing has done and I intend to break the cycle. If I don’t succeed immediately, I will keep trying until I do. I’m not giving up this time. Period. I will become the person she, nor I, ever gave me the chance to be.
So, with that said, I say “Come on, 2013! Let’s do this!”, and prepare to step into my future!
Draco, Mini-Me and I were determined that we were only giving a nod to traditional Christmas this year, and we accomplished it. Here is a little share of how our day went down.
I forgot to turn off my weekday morning alarm all week, so even though there’s been no point, an alarm has woke me up at 6 am, including today.
Around 7 am, we woke Mini-Me so that she could open her new (and approved of) boyfriend’s gifts via Skype. We all sat around the table and watched (she got gifts from us on Yule last Friday).
After that was over, we went in search of an open store, but came up empty handed. Mini-Me spotted an IHop though, and offered to buy breakfast, so we stopped, beginning our first new Christmas day tradition.
We laughed, we ate too much, we had wonderful iced mocha coffees, passed food around the table and made too much noise. It was great!
By then, Draco and I were running on too little sleep and full bellies, so we headed home to nap and figure out what to do with the rest of the day.
When we got up, Draco was out of Mt. Dew, so he suggested trying to find something open again. Corner stores are open on Christmas, so armed with his 2-liter and a few 20 oz drinks, we hit the road with no destination in mind.
We ended up in Georgia (we live in southern SC) in some quaint little towns where we saw stuff like this
A windmill decked out in lights.
We stopped at a lake and took a walk around, allowing me my first boost from moving water away from the house
We crossed the Savannah River twice
And Mini-Me chilled in the back on her phone
Even Dutchess was relaxed
After three hours, we finally made it home. I think Mini-Me enjoyed the change from the normal hustle and bustle (and stress – the cops got called at my ex’s family’s Thanksgiving, and that kind of crap is common over there), and I know Draco and I did.
On our way in, we did a round through the cemetary at the end of our street where many Union and Confederate soldiers are buried, along with many much older graves no one tends anymore. We gave holiday greetings to “the forgotten” and felt a wave of embracing energy as we left.
It was dark, foggy, and raining, so I can’t be certain, but I’m sure I caught a glimpse of outlines in the rear-view mirror when I tapped my brakes. A longer press revealed nothing but lonely markers in the mist.
The food portion hasn’t happened yet, but will soon (it was supposed to be a Yule dinner, but we were on the road bringing Mini-Me home that day, so it was put off).
Mini-Me starts volunteering at the Equine Rescue tomorrow, and I need to go grocery shopping, so tomorrow will be another busy day.
Hope everyone in Blogland enjoyed their holiday and is ready to make the New Year incredible, magickal and unforgetable!
Friday, we made the almost 3 hour drive to pick up Mini-Me from where we all lived up until 2 months ago. She decided when we moved here that she wanted to stay behind and try to make it there.
Mini-Me is 19, chronologically, but mentally and emotionally, she is not.
She is capable of holding a conversation with people she knows, but people that don’t know her can tell she struggles with basic social skills.
She is capable of working a job, but learning new skills, especially complicated ones, takes her longer. She is easily distracted.
She has a big heart, but it’s easy to take advantage of her. Easy to convince her you have her best interests at heart, even if you don’t.
At 13 she could not read, and even after working with her for years, she struggles, although she can read well enough now to sit down with a book — providing she can sit still long enough.
As she was growing up, we were aware of the challenges she faced, but it never felt like raising a Special Needs child, even though it was.
In so many ways, she was a normal kid. When she sat at the table coloring with Draco and jabbering on about the kinds of things little girls gabber about, she seemed normal.
When she stood at my elbow in the kitchen learning the art of cooking, she seemed normal.
When she came home from school, the victim of ridicule and bullying, she seemed anything but. When people talked her into things they knew she would get in trouble for, just so they could make fun of her, I wanted to go on a “Mama Rampage” and kick the asses of all the parents that raised bullies.
Leaving Mini-Me behind broke my heart and shattered my nerves in ways I wasn’t prepared for. I had to let her try though.
Bringing her home brought me comfort. To my nerves, to my heart and to my soul.
As I sit and look across the room to where she is sleeping, curled tightly in a ball with her kitty, Miracle, I am comforted.
Saturday, in spite of being completely exhausted still from Friday, we all climbed in the car and I took her out to see that there really was more to the world than the little country town we live in.
Our most important stop of the day was at the local Equine Rescuse that is run by our local branch of the SPCA. She got to see a few of the horses and applied for a volunteer position (that could possibly lead to a job some day).
Last night, they called her and she starts on Wednesday. She was beyond excited. They volunteer from 8am – 2pm during the week, so she plans to look for a regular job for nights and weekends so that she can do both.
I overheard part of a conversation she had with a friend last night and she was gushing about how “awesome” it is here and how happy she is. Again, her words were like a balm on my heart.
Having her home is healing something I didn’t know was broken. Yes, there has been some stress involved, adjusting to the added demands on my time and on our very limited resources, but it has been a happy adjustment.
I’ve come clean with her about the memory problems I’ve been experiencing and she’s seen how easily I can get overwhelmed at times, but she seems to be trying to make this work as much as we are, which is good.
Yes, I’m finding comfort in having her home with us, especially at the holidays. Life is damn-near perfect!