Category Archives: fairies

The Cards Speak 12/13/12

I’ve felt a pull to my cards all week but due to my anxiety, I’ve avoided them. In reflection, that was probably the opposite of what I should have done.

In any case, this morning, I pulled my basic 3-card spread that I use when reading for myself on a day-to-day basis.

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The cards I drew were The High Priest (also the Magician in some decks), Justice and the Page of Pentacles.

The High Priest speaks to new ideas and thoughts being revealed. Some of this card’s energy is already in play, I believe, although I can’t be certain it’s done. Over the last week or so, I’ve been nearly bombarded with new thoughts, new ideas, new ways of looking at things.

I’ve begun exploring again spiritually. Everything from Chakras to Feary Wicca to yoga. I also found a local UU Church that Draco and I plan to check out on Sunday.

There’s also been ideas and planning for the future passed between Draco and myself, but in the context of the other cards, I believe this reading is mainly referring to the spiritual.

My 2nd card was Justice. Although it can refer to justice in the mundane sense, it also speaks to balance. Balancing the scales between spiritual and mundane.

It’s no secret that my practice has fallen by the wayside, especially since my Mom’s health began its decline nearly 3 years ago. It wasn’t a lack of faith, or even a crisis of faith, so much as I know that whatever I could have attempted to do for her had to be with her consent, and she never would have given it to me.

I was afraid that with her health so fresh in my heart that there was no way for me to ask for anything that would not have been in an effort to help or heal her. I didn’t want anything to backfire and bring me bad karma or to interfere with whatever the Divine intended. So, I did nothing. Six months (to the day, in fact – she passed June 13th) after her passing, I’m finally turning back to my faith in an effort to heal myself, both physically and spiritually.

I believe it’s time for me to balance my life once more between the spiritual and mundane. In life, you can not live wholly in both, and live a balanced life. 3 years have been spent almost entirely in the mundane world. Now it’s time to reconnect spiritually.

The Page of Pentacles made me stop and ponder for a moment. It can refer to a child-like person, or a person holding a child-like job (such as taking care of someone’s dogs perhaps?), so I wondered if this was an identifying card, which I sometimes get in readings.

Or can also refer to a good turn in health and as I said, healing myself is more foremost in my mind right now.

The anxiety has been so incredibly bad this week, that I find myself hoping the cards are attempting to ease my mind and comfort me, letting me know that I’m thinking and moving in the right direction. That the decisions being made recently are sending us in the direction we’re meant to go.

Tarot reading is something I’ve felt pulled to since I learned what it was, and my cards are usually pretty accurate, but like Amy other form of divination, it’s all open to interpretation and an objective self-reading can be difficult sometimes.

So for now, I’m left with my interpretations and a glimmer of hope that better times and things are coming. I will continue in the direction I’m heading in the hopes that I’m right.

Blessings,
Raven Moon

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Gone too long

I could smell the damp, earthy scent of the bark on the trees.  The rich black soil beneath my feet was like a sponge as I ran, absorbing the sounds of my footsteps.  My breathing came fast and hard like I was being chased by the long-ago boogie-man of childhood.

I ran alone.  Searching for something…some place.  I knew I should know the way, but I had forgotten, the memory only a faint whisper in my mind’s eye.  Panic begins to set in.  I realize I’m becoming more and more hopelessly lost with every step.  My mind screams at me to stop and take stock of my surroundings.  Make an effort at getting my bearings, but my heart pushes me onward.

I need to find this place.  This place out of time that was once mine and mine alone.  I need the embrace of knowing I am exactly where I belong, like coming home.

It was getting darker and darker, like ink spilled on paper, reaching out to absorb it’s surroundings in an attempt to consume it all.

Night sounds come alive in the ink blot running hard on my heels.  I know that I should not be afraid, but the fear licks at the corners of my mind like the flames of a bale-fire.

As the darkness reaches for me, I begin to see little flickers of light.  I chase after them, feeling a deep-rooted rejection as they outpace my frantic feet.  Somewhere deep in my heart, I feel a kinship with these lights.  I know that if I can just keep up, I will find what I’m looking for.

The panic reaches deeper into my soul and I can feel the hot streaks marking the tears on my face, I can taste the salt of my fears.

Hopelessness consumes me.  I can feel myself giving up the fight.  I just want to feel safe and I begin to realize that I will not reach my destination this night.

My steps falter and I realize that one of the lights has slowed it’s pace to match mine.  Then, it too, falters and circles back.  As I slow, I realize the sound that I thought was the displaced air rushing past my ears is actually a whisper.  I strain to hear, knowing I should be able to understand.

As I focus on the sound, the light takes shape and I see the tiny wings, the little face that seems to glow from within is before me.  The whispered sounds take form, just as the light had taken form…my heart breaks as I hear her words and I close my eyes…

You have been gone too long….

I open my eyes to the sun beginning to peek through the curtains of a familiar room and I realize that I am once again in my bed.  My faithful companion of this world, curled and sleeping at my side.

A feeling of loss consumes me and I know that I will not reach my destination this night.

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