Category Archives: Pagan
Sorry I haven’t been around much. Life has been crazy and although we’re in a slow-spot at the moment, I know it’s not over yet.
Mini-Me moving down here has changed life for all of us. Now that Draco and I have someone else to care for, and to consider, a lot has changed (or changed back, anyway). It’s mostly been good and, aside from the occasional bad day here and there, everyone seems happy.
The business isn’t really moving yet, but some of that has been a hold-up on my part. If someone were to place an order, I’d fill it, but I haven’t really gotten up new pictures on the FB page yet, or started advertising some new ideas I’ve had thanks to a few dear friends. Most of that is waiting until we move and I have room to work.
Mini-Me is still job hunting and although Draco still has his job, he’s still searching for something local. Eventually, this job will run out and his company will move on to other places. We’re here for keeps, so a local job must be found.
The move thing is still up in the air. We all finally agreed to look for something else, somewhere else, but when Draco gave our notice to the landlady, she said she wants us to talk to her when we get our taxes. There’s a possibility we could get the house we’ve been secretly wanting for months. That would keep me in this neighborhood for sure. It has (almost) everything I was looking for!
So, in a few more weeks, we should know something there. I’ll be so happy to have that question finally answered!
I’ve been cooking more, and breaking out new — and old — receipes, but I forget to take pictures when I cook. So no new receipes for the blog yet. 😦
Last night, Draco and Mini-Me cooked spaghetti together while I watched Monk and tonight, Draco has been cooking pulled BBQ chicken for sandwhiches all day, so I’ve gotten a couple days off dinner-duty. In return, I got up and made homemade biscuits and sausage gravy with sliced canteloupe this morning. It was awesome and they ate it all.
We’ve been spending time together as a family, and it feels good, so even though I have missed my blog in a lot of ways, I’ve been taking my own advice and taking life by the horns.
Life hasn’t been all good, or all bad. It’s been a steady combination of the two, kind of like that place where two rivers meet. In some places, the blending is seamless, in others, the water can be down-right turbulent, but we’re all learning to navigate the rapids much better than we ever have. We’ve come close a time or two, but so far, we haven’t flipped the boat yet!
In spiritual news, I’ve had some things happen recently and my previous path is being mostly left behind. I’ve been eclectic Pagan for years and now I’m looking for ways to blend my heritage. I’m Cherokee-Welsh, (Welsh has Celtic roots), so I’m searching for where those meet and forging a new path for myself.
If 2013 has had a theme so far, I think that’s what it is — blending and combining — searching for that place where more than one way meets and can travel together for a while. It’s strengthening my bonds with those I love most and creating an over-all peace in my life that I’m not certain I’ve ever known before, and that, dear friends, is fabulous!
I’ve made progress in my Shadow Work with Hecate and I’ve made peace with a lot. I know I still have work to do, but for now, the lightening of the load feels good.
It feels good to just be myself. No regrets, no excuses.
Well, I suppose that about wraps the news from my side of the forest. What’s going on in your neck of the woods?
Today, I took a leap of faith and began the process of bringing PoM to where I want it to be. I have signed up with a review company and will be (hopefully) starting to do product reviews soon.
I don’t intend to turn my blog into a review machine and not blog like I usually do. Reviews will most likely be one or two out of the week and will be in addition to my regular blogging.
At some point in the near future, I am also supposed to do a give-away for my own business (that Mini-Me and I will be running) at a friend’s blog (we’re still working out the details there) and I will be reopening that business officially on January 1st.
To say that starting 2013 will be different from any so far is an understatement. Mini-Me lives with us, is currently job-hunting and volunteering at the Equine Rescue three days a week, Draco still works (and I’m still the only person in the house that can drive), I’m reopening the business I closed last summer, I still intend to blog and doing reviews means stepping up my social media presence. I will be busy, busy, busy whie I work on balancing all of this and still have time for connecting with my spirituality and my family.
Needless to say, this will be my last round caring for my landlady’s pets while she is away. If I find time to give pets, other than my own, a piece of me, I will go volunteer at the local SPCA where the demand is not all day, every day. I love them all, and I’ve enjoyed it, but I honestly don’t see me having time for much besides what I’m already committed to.
(I see me blogging on my phone in parking lots and carrying a craft-bag on my shoulder everywhere I go to optimize my time usage as it is.)
Needless to say, I’m all kinds of excited, but I know that what I’m undertaking is huge. I’m sick of empty, mindless hours watching TV shows that are surely killing my brain cells faster than any drug ever could.
For years, I avoided having a full life, so afraid that if I attempted anything, it would be another failure. Something else for my mother to shake her head in disdain over. Well, Mom is gone now and I see the damage years of brainwashing has done and I intend to break the cycle. If I don’t succeed immediately, I will keep trying until I do. I’m not giving up this time. Period. I will become the person she, nor I, ever gave me the chance to be.
So, with that said, I say “Come on, 2013! Let’s do this!”, and prepare to step into my future!
Draco, Mini-Me and I were determined that we were only giving a nod to traditional Christmas this year, and we accomplished it. Here is a little share of how our day went down.
I forgot to turn off my weekday morning alarm all week, so even though there’s been no point, an alarm has woke me up at 6 am, including today.
Around 7 am, we woke Mini-Me so that she could open her new (and approved of) boyfriend’s gifts via Skype. We all sat around the table and watched (she got gifts from us on Yule last Friday).
After that was over, we went in search of an open store, but came up empty handed. Mini-Me spotted an IHop though, and offered to buy breakfast, so we stopped, beginning our first new Christmas day tradition.
We laughed, we ate too much, we had wonderful iced mocha coffees, passed food around the table and made too much noise. It was great!
By then, Draco and I were running on too little sleep and full bellies, so we headed home to nap and figure out what to do with the rest of the day.
When we got up, Draco was out of Mt. Dew, so he suggested trying to find something open again. Corner stores are open on Christmas, so armed with his 2-liter and a few 20 oz drinks, we hit the road with no destination in mind.
We ended up in Georgia (we live in southern SC) in some quaint little towns where we saw stuff like this
A windmill decked out in lights.
We stopped at a lake and took a walk around, allowing me my first boost from moving water away from the house
We crossed the Savannah River twice
And Mini-Me chilled in the back on her phone
Even Dutchess was relaxed
After three hours, we finally made it home. I think Mini-Me enjoyed the change from the normal hustle and bustle (and stress – the cops got called at my ex’s family’s Thanksgiving, and that kind of crap is common over there), and I know Draco and I did.
On our way in, we did a round through the cemetary at the end of our street where many Union and Confederate soldiers are buried, along with many much older graves no one tends anymore. We gave holiday greetings to “the forgotten” and felt a wave of embracing energy as we left.
It was dark, foggy, and raining, so I can’t be certain, but I’m sure I caught a glimpse of outlines in the rear-view mirror when I tapped my brakes. A longer press revealed nothing but lonely markers in the mist.
The food portion hasn’t happened yet, but will soon (it was supposed to be a Yule dinner, but we were on the road bringing Mini-Me home that day, so it was put off).
Mini-Me starts volunteering at the Equine Rescue tomorrow, and I need to go grocery shopping, so tomorrow will be another busy day.
Hope everyone in Blogland enjoyed their holiday and is ready to make the New Year incredible, magickal and unforgetable!
I awoke this morning to a layer of frost covering everything my eyes touched and it reminded me that in spite of the unseasonably warm weather we’ve been having, that the Winter Solstice is only a week away.
The days following the Solstice, leading into January, is the time Draco and I normally celebrate Yule, although we haven’t truly celebrated in years.
At my friend B’s urging, we finally put up a small tree last weekend that she sent from her Mom’s house, insisting we use it since her mom passed last month and she leaves today for Switzerland and then Italy, to spend the holiday with her daughter and grandchildren. Before that, my only concession to the holiday season had been a table cloth she insisted I take.
Draco knows I’m trying to reclaim our holidays now that Mom is gone and Mini-Me is grown, but he also knows how hard this year is for me. He is following my lead, listening to every word, and trying to make it easier. I appreciate him for this all the more because being attentive isn’t normally his strong suit. He’s used to me being an independant, strong and assertive woman – at least in our home and marriage. He doesn’t really know what to do with the uncertainty he’s seen in me the last few years. To be honest, I really haven’t known what to do with it either.
As we finished putting up the tree last weekend, which was just a string of lights and a star on top, I mentioned that it looked a little bare without decorations, so last night, he snuck off and bought 2 boxes of ornaments (all our Yule decorations are in storage 2-1/2 hours away).
I had also mentioned recently how I missed the smell of oils in the house (I’m an oil burner junkie), so when we stopped at a store and a lady was selling oils from the trunk of her car in the parking lot, he bought a bottle and got her number so that I will have a steady connection for my oil addiction.
Another thing about this time of year is that as we moved past Samhain (Halloween), we entered the dark half of the year. A time when the harvest is nearly done, sunlight begins to loose its strength, nights get longer and the cold begins to creep in.
At Yule, we are entering the heart of the cold and the dark. It’s a time when activity is limited and families gather around the fire to share stories, memories and to reflect on the passing seasons.
For me, it’s a time of reflecting on my personal harvest from the year and when I attempt to plan better for next year, so that the harvest will be plentiful.
As I reflect, I see that we weren’t really prepared last year and because of it, I am still scrambling trying to lay in supplies for the barren months we now face. There is no doubt that this winter will be a difficult one, but I know we will manage somehow, just as we have in winters past.
I also know that I have learned some very valuable lessons, especially about planning for the lean months.
While I own that our planning could have been better, I refuse to give myself too hard of a time for it this year. This time last year, things were falling apart fast at my parent’s house. We were blind to the fact that Mom had discovered a lump in her abdomen that she would announce to the family after the New Year in January. We were looking for our own place and trying to stay close enough for me to help with Mom without having to live there. We were planning, but Mom’s annoncement in January would throw my family, and my life, into a tail-spin no one was prepared for and all my plans would fall apart at my feet as I tried to help my family while loosing my mom.
That is something I had no way, and no opportunity, to plan for.
Now, it’s just me and Draco. My family is pretty much non-existant with the exception of Mini-Me, Chicklet and a few friends that have clung to my side through it all.
Moving two and a half hours away was “planned”, literally, in a week. When we got here, we didn’t even have a home to come to and stayed in hotels for nearly 3 weeks. My health had gone downhill, especially my mental health, while I spent the last 3 years trying to take care of everyone but myself.
My spiritual life suffered so much that I’ve begun to redefine it and what I want from it. I don’t believe that I could have honestly prepared us, or even myself, for what the last year had in store, so I chalk it up to one of life’s many hard lessons and move forward. We will get through this. I will get through this.
In the last six months, I haven’t always felt certain of that. Loosing my mom has been an experience, and a pain, unlike any other. I have learned so much, so fast, about the woman my mother really was. I have been forced to see our relationship for what it really was. It has been one of the most difficult times of my life, but I have survived.
My family, that I always thought was so integral in my life, has treated me as if I were disposable, and it nearly broke me completely, but I have survived, and what’s more, is that I have learned.
I know now that I can make it without them. I know that with only myself to answer to, I can make the decisions that need to be made. I know that my life should be what I make it, not what others choose for me. And? I know that no matter what life throws at me, I will survive that, too.