Category Archives: Witchcraft
Sorry I haven’t been around much. Life has been crazy and although we’re in a slow-spot at the moment, I know it’s not over yet.
Mini-Me moving down here has changed life for all of us. Now that Draco and I have someone else to care for, and to consider, a lot has changed (or changed back, anyway). It’s mostly been good and, aside from the occasional bad day here and there, everyone seems happy.
The business isn’t really moving yet, but some of that has been a hold-up on my part. If someone were to place an order, I’d fill it, but I haven’t really gotten up new pictures on the FB page yet, or started advertising some new ideas I’ve had thanks to a few dear friends. Most of that is waiting until we move and I have room to work.
Mini-Me is still job hunting and although Draco still has his job, he’s still searching for something local. Eventually, this job will run out and his company will move on to other places. We’re here for keeps, so a local job must be found.
The move thing is still up in the air. We all finally agreed to look for something else, somewhere else, but when Draco gave our notice to the landlady, she said she wants us to talk to her when we get our taxes. There’s a possibility we could get the house we’ve been secretly wanting for months. That would keep me in this neighborhood for sure. It has (almost) everything I was looking for!
So, in a few more weeks, we should know something there. I’ll be so happy to have that question finally answered!
I’ve been cooking more, and breaking out new — and old — receipes, but I forget to take pictures when I cook. So no new receipes for the blog yet. 😦
Last night, Draco and Mini-Me cooked spaghetti together while I watched Monk and tonight, Draco has been cooking pulled BBQ chicken for sandwhiches all day, so I’ve gotten a couple days off dinner-duty. In return, I got up and made homemade biscuits and sausage gravy with sliced canteloupe this morning. It was awesome and they ate it all.
We’ve been spending time together as a family, and it feels good, so even though I have missed my blog in a lot of ways, I’ve been taking my own advice and taking life by the horns.
Life hasn’t been all good, or all bad. It’s been a steady combination of the two, kind of like that place where two rivers meet. In some places, the blending is seamless, in others, the water can be down-right turbulent, but we’re all learning to navigate the rapids much better than we ever have. We’ve come close a time or two, but so far, we haven’t flipped the boat yet!
In spiritual news, I’ve had some things happen recently and my previous path is being mostly left behind. I’ve been eclectic Pagan for years and now I’m looking for ways to blend my heritage. I’m Cherokee-Welsh, (Welsh has Celtic roots), so I’m searching for where those meet and forging a new path for myself.
If 2013 has had a theme so far, I think that’s what it is — blending and combining — searching for that place where more than one way meets and can travel together for a while. It’s strengthening my bonds with those I love most and creating an over-all peace in my life that I’m not certain I’ve ever known before, and that, dear friends, is fabulous!
I’ve made progress in my Shadow Work with Hecate and I’ve made peace with a lot. I know I still have work to do, but for now, the lightening of the load feels good.
It feels good to just be myself. No regrets, no excuses.
Well, I suppose that about wraps the news from my side of the forest. What’s going on in your neck of the woods?
I awoke this morning to a layer of frost covering everything my eyes touched and it reminded me that in spite of the unseasonably warm weather we’ve been having, that the Winter Solstice is only a week away.
The days following the Solstice, leading into January, is the time Draco and I normally celebrate Yule, although we haven’t truly celebrated in years.
At my friend B’s urging, we finally put up a small tree last weekend that she sent from her Mom’s house, insisting we use it since her mom passed last month and she leaves today for Switzerland and then Italy, to spend the holiday with her daughter and grandchildren. Before that, my only concession to the holiday season had been a table cloth she insisted I take.
Draco knows I’m trying to reclaim our holidays now that Mom is gone and Mini-Me is grown, but he also knows how hard this year is for me. He is following my lead, listening to every word, and trying to make it easier. I appreciate him for this all the more because being attentive isn’t normally his strong suit. He’s used to me being an independant, strong and assertive woman – at least in our home and marriage. He doesn’t really know what to do with the uncertainty he’s seen in me the last few years. To be honest, I really haven’t known what to do with it either.
As we finished putting up the tree last weekend, which was just a string of lights and a star on top, I mentioned that it looked a little bare without decorations, so last night, he snuck off and bought 2 boxes of ornaments (all our Yule decorations are in storage 2-1/2 hours away).
I had also mentioned recently how I missed the smell of oils in the house (I’m an oil burner junkie), so when we stopped at a store and a lady was selling oils from the trunk of her car in the parking lot, he bought a bottle and got her number so that I will have a steady connection for my oil addiction.
Another thing about this time of year is that as we moved past Samhain (Halloween), we entered the dark half of the year. A time when the harvest is nearly done, sunlight begins to loose its strength, nights get longer and the cold begins to creep in.
At Yule, we are entering the heart of the cold and the dark. It’s a time when activity is limited and families gather around the fire to share stories, memories and to reflect on the passing seasons.
For me, it’s a time of reflecting on my personal harvest from the year and when I attempt to plan better for next year, so that the harvest will be plentiful.
As I reflect, I see that we weren’t really prepared last year and because of it, I am still scrambling trying to lay in supplies for the barren months we now face. There is no doubt that this winter will be a difficult one, but I know we will manage somehow, just as we have in winters past.
I also know that I have learned some very valuable lessons, especially about planning for the lean months.
While I own that our planning could have been better, I refuse to give myself too hard of a time for it this year. This time last year, things were falling apart fast at my parent’s house. We were blind to the fact that Mom had discovered a lump in her abdomen that she would announce to the family after the New Year in January. We were looking for our own place and trying to stay close enough for me to help with Mom without having to live there. We were planning, but Mom’s annoncement in January would throw my family, and my life, into a tail-spin no one was prepared for and all my plans would fall apart at my feet as I tried to help my family while loosing my mom.
That is something I had no way, and no opportunity, to plan for.
Now, it’s just me and Draco. My family is pretty much non-existant with the exception of Mini-Me, Chicklet and a few friends that have clung to my side through it all.
Moving two and a half hours away was “planned”, literally, in a week. When we got here, we didn’t even have a home to come to and stayed in hotels for nearly 3 weeks. My health had gone downhill, especially my mental health, while I spent the last 3 years trying to take care of everyone but myself.
My spiritual life suffered so much that I’ve begun to redefine it and what I want from it. I don’t believe that I could have honestly prepared us, or even myself, for what the last year had in store, so I chalk it up to one of life’s many hard lessons and move forward. We will get through this. I will get through this.
In the last six months, I haven’t always felt certain of that. Loosing my mom has been an experience, and a pain, unlike any other. I have learned so much, so fast, about the woman my mother really was. I have been forced to see our relationship for what it really was. It has been one of the most difficult times of my life, but I have survived.
My family, that I always thought was so integral in my life, has treated me as if I were disposable, and it nearly broke me completely, but I have survived, and what’s more, is that I have learned.
I know now that I can make it without them. I know that with only myself to answer to, I can make the decisions that need to be made. I know that my life should be what I make it, not what others choose for me. And? I know that no matter what life throws at me, I will survive that, too.
I’ve been seeing a lot of controversy lately, both on blogs and Facebook pages I follow about people arguing over beliefs, or rather, misunderstandings and misconceptions about beliefs not their own.
I have not been left out of feeling the effects myself, even though it’s been much less “public”.
After my Mom passed, my Dad got understandably concerned about religion for a time, wavering between a faith he was raised to believe in, his own doubts and issues stemming from his personal experiences, and being angry at God for taking my mother from him. All understandable feelings in my opinion.
This finally led my father to bring religion up to me, the “known black sheep of the family”. I say “known” because my sister is Satanic and my brother is Agnostic. My daughter is Christio-Pagan. I’m not certain my father is aware of all this, so he brought his “religious curiosity” to me.
He finally asked me one night what, exactly, it is that I believe. Somewhere along the way, he picked up a few of the general misconceptions that a lot of people seem to have. He was obviously under the impression that I don’t believe in God, that I don’t pray, etc. We had a lengthy and in-depth conversation in which I tried to explain my belief system to my dad. I won’t rehash our private conversation, but I felt that maybe it was time to add some tag pages to the site going into a little more detail of what it is I believe, how I came to be a Pagan, why I call myself “Pagan” in a general sense instead of branding myself as one particular path, why I am solitary, why the only Pagan-type labels I do refer to myself with are Kitchen, Green and Hearth witch…and so on.
Obviously, this isn’t the work of a single post, as most of the things I’ve mentioned deserve their own posts, so I will most likely turn this into some type of series…possibly reviving my “Just Another Phase” tag or something similar where I showcase my more personal posts that explain who I am and how I got to where I am. Stayed tuned for new pages to go up, possibly this weekend.
For my non-Pagan followers lurking out there (yes, I see you), any religious information on this blog is not meant as an attempt convert you or anyone else. It is not intended as a method of teaching a path. It is not intended as an attack on anyone else’s beliefs. It is simply my own, personal experiences, beliefs, questions, etc. If anything on my site offends you in anyway, I offer a sincere and heartfelt apology and I invite you to explore the methods availabe to you to unfollow this blog, or me personally.
I realize that @PhasesOfMe started out as a “mom/empty-nester blog”, not a “Pagan” blog. It still is a mom/empty-nester blog. I am still the same person I always have been. I was Pagan then, just as I am now, I just didn’t talk about it on my blog.
While I welcome and encourage questions and thoughts from all of my readers, I will not remove posts from my site because of anyone else’s feelings when it comes to my experiences, beliefs or my truths in life, be they religious or of any other nature, but I will remove hateful, hurtful, derogitory or prejudice comments without warning or explination.
I suppose I haven’t talked in-depth here because I was afraid of controversy, afraid of loosing followers, afraid someone wouldn’t like me, or would disagree with my beliefs. I realize now that this reluctance lent itself to a feeling of shame over my religion that I don’t (and shouldn’t) feel. I will not hide anymore and I won’t refrain from celebrating my faith simply because someone else may not understand or agree with it.
With that said, I hope you will all join me on my magical journey through life, love, mental illness, faith, family and empty-nest parenting!