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Back to Basics

I recently downloaded a book for my Android Kindle App called Hippie Witch: Magical Life by Tori Douglas and was so very impressed with how she lives her life. At the time I downloaded it, it was free.  It is now $2.99, but it’s a price I feel is well worth it.

This book is another blogger gone published, and I have to say, even when I’m impressed with the blog itself or the blogger in particular, I don’t usually run out to buy a book if they publish one and I’ve never done a book review on any of my blogs.  In this case, I found the book first, which lead me to the blogger instead of the other way around.

While this post won’t be a review either, I had to give credit to my inspiration for it. If you’re interested in looking up her blog, you can find her here.

What I would like to talk about is the impact her book had on me personally and why.

As you know if you follow the Fairy Phases fan page on Facebook, Draco and I recently (about 3 weeks ago) moved about 2-1/2 hours away from where we’ve lived the majority of our 16 years together.

It was where I was raised and have lived all but about 2 years of my life. It’s where the kids are, it’s where what’s left of my family is (other than my brother). Other than the 2 years I spent up north when I was in my early 20’s, it’s where I’ve always lived.

Leaving was such a mix of emotions. I was excited and glad to not have to be apart from Draco all the time, but leaving where you’ve lived over 30 years is hard. Since Mom died in June, though, my conviction to get away has been stronger than it’s ever been. I knew I had to go no matter how hard it was.

Moving has been a good thing in spite of my initial feelings and bouts with being homesick. We moved into the house we want to grow old in last week and I can’t remember when I’ve been happier or felt such peace.

Knowing we were totally on or own with no help has really put things into perspective as well and life has gotten really simple, really fast.

Most of our possessions, including the majority of our decorations and magickal supplies were put into storage and left behind and that added to the initial feelings of being severed from everything. I found myself thinking things like “how can I practice my religion without my things?” And “I don’t have half my stuff here, I can’t even cast a proper spell!”

After about the first week and a half, I began to remind myself that in the beginning, I had no tools other than myself. I didn’t run out on a magickal shopping spree either.

So, I told myself, we’re back to basics. We can do this.

I began to remember my earliest magickal training. The books I’d read that had warned about getting so caught up in the process and trappings that you didn’t live magickally. I remember thinking, as a young woman of 19 and new to pagan religions, that it would never happen to me.

Guess what I realized? It had happened to me.

When I first started as a Wiccan and Paganism was something I didn’t really know how to do, I went with my instincts and I stared out incorporating what I was learning into my day-to-day life, especially in my cooking and housekeeping. I used to make my own floor wash from orange peels to cleanse negativity out of the house each time I mopped the floor and when I cooked, I used herb associations, burned incense, listened to music and drank wine.

What happened to the witch that chanted to herself when she swept? That only stirred food clockwise unless there was something to banish?

What happened to sitting outside with nature without a phone in my face?

Where did my habit of saying good morning to the sun and goodnight to the moon go?

It was then that I realized that those were the things that had brought spirituality into my everyday life. I was no longer experiencing spirituality, I was simply practicing a religion; akin to going to church on Sunday simply out of habit and spending more time considering lunch options than listening to the sermon.

I knew it had to change, but 19 was a lot of years ago and the BOS (Book of Shadows) that held all that gathered information was long gone. I found myself frustrated and stumbling more than starting.

Out of frustration, I sat down with my Kindle App and determined to do what I’d done in the beginning. Read.

I’m a fan of Pagan ebooks For Free on Facebook, and I remembered downloading a ton of books on Tarot, herbs, gems and even healing, but wasn’t certain if there were any regular pagan books or not.

I started and stopped probably half a dozen books and had almost given up on finding the inspiration I needed to get back on track when I saw the title Hippie Witch in my archives. I immediately pulled it up and began reading and didn’t stop till I finished the book. I was truly disappointed when it was over and immediately craved more.

I remembered seeing something about her being a blogger and wondered if her blog was still up and active (so many pagan blogs sit neglected these days). I quickly sought out her blog and was thrilled to see a very recent post. I immediately became her cyber- stalker newest follower and have followed her on Facebook and Twitter as well.

Her book is all about bringing the simplicity back to her craft. How she incorporates it into daily life and she also offers some very good information.

She doesn’t know it yet, but she became the inspiration I needed to find myself and my path once again. For that, I can’t express enough gratitude.

So, I am now on a voracious quest for knowledge. I am re-teaching myself and it is a beautiful thing, especially when the classroom looks like this,

image

this,

image

and this,

image

How awesome is that?

This week while Draco is at work, Dutchess and I are going to spend some time in the graveyard at the end of the street honoring the dead for Samhain.

I may not know where this path is going to lead me this time, but I’m determined to enjoy the view!

Oh, and it looks like that writer’s block problem was a spiritual thing, cause, baby, I’m back!

)O( BB )O(

 

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Sorting it out

WordPress

WordPress (Photo credit: Adriano Gasparri)

I spent a good long while on the phone with Draco yesterday, talking about what works and what doesn’t. I told him that the way we have been doing things, just isn’t working anymore.

It’s no secret that we’ve had some problems with him working out of town. Lack of communication has been a big problem. Ok, let me correct that, I have been attempting to communicate, but I feel like he just hasn’t been hearing me. I guess that’s one of the pitfalls of a 16 year relationship. At some point, one or both people stop listening.

Anyway, I told him that things aren’t working this way. There is nothing I can do about him working out of town. He says he’s going to find another job working in town, and he may. Rumor control says the company may be in transition, and those transitions may change things, but we’re not certain what. There are a lot of “ifs” and “maybes” running around, but it’s like I told him, I can’t live my life, or build a new one, on” ifs” and” maybes”. I also told him that I don’t feel that it’s fair for him to make all the decisions about our life here, when he’s never here.

For 16 years, I’ve let him rule the roost. He’s had final say (and veto power) on anything and everything. That was fine when he was here to deal with things, but now he’s not. I’m the one having to deal with it all, and I think that I should have more say in what’s going on. I also told him that I feel like he’s no longer making decisions based on our (or my) best interest. That his decisions are based on what he does and does not want to deal with. That’s not fair to me.

I must admit, I expected a fight. I expected him to flip out and for us to go through a power struggle over it all, but he didn’t. He actually admitted that some of his recent decisions have been based on him not wanting to deal with this or that right now, without much thought to what is best for me, or what I need or want.

We basically came to the agreement that I will stop bitching about him working out of town (I told him that he knows I don’t like it and wish he would get a job here, but me bitching about it all the time isn’t going to change anything), and I will start having control of what’s happening here. He will agree to whatever decisions I make (like I have him for the last 16 years), as long as I keep him informed on what I’m doing so that he knows what’s going on when he’s home on the weekends.

With that settled, I made the decision to come back to WordPress for the millionth time. My online bestie, @PonderingMama is probably going to kill me for moving again (she’s the one that put together this design for my blog over on Blogger). Luckily, I’m well versed in WordPress, and I was able to duplicate the design here with no trouble at all.

Why did I come back? That’s actually kinda complicated to answer.

For starters, I have to admit that I’ve never cared much for Blogger. I’ve been over there off and on, and while some people swear by them, I just can’t get a good vibe happening. My blog was beautiful (thanks to @PonderingMama), everything looked right, but I’m big on energy, and I just couldn’t get a good feeling happening.

WordPress does seem a little more complicated, but once you get used to it, it’s actually much simpler to navigate. I had my hosted blog through WordPress about a year ago and loved it. I cried when it messed up and went “poof” to wherever blogs go when they go “poof”.

Also? I’m about to move and I’m not sure what my internet situation will be till I get a few things straightened out, and the WordPress app on my phone is so much better and easier to work that my Blogger app. The Blogger app is constantly crashing on me and I blogged from my phone on WordPress for months and never had a problem.

And, there is the upcoming thing with the business. I want to have hosting for my blog again eventually and I will need a website for my business. I can’t afford to pay for hosting in two places and WordPress has a better hosting setup than Blogger and I hope to have my website for my business and my blog attached so it’s not so much to keep up with either.

I’ve had more hits on my blog today, while I was “moving in” than I’ve had in a month on Blogger.

So, for all those reasons, I am here, and I’m actually happy to be here. If I’m going to rebuild my blogging empire, (Ha-ha! That’s even funny to me!) then I feel that here is where that will happen. I sure hope so anyway. J

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