As a Pagan, much of my life revolves around focus and intent. It’s important in the practice of my craft to be able to give something all or none of my attention, as is the need.
Some things are difficult for me to do, like sitting with a “quiet mind” in meditation, others seen to come quite naturally. Focus is one of those things, sometimes to a fault.
I have a tendency to obsess over-focus. This week is a perfect example. It’s hard to get my brain to form a coherent thought that isn’t somehow tied to us moving.
I’ve tried writing about other things and as a result, I have a handful of unfinished posts in my draft folder. Nothing will come that doesn’t tie in with what we are experiencing right now, so I finally gave up fighting it.
The interesting thing about magick, is it’s not what most non-pagans believe it to be, and everyone does it, even if they don’t realize it.
People watch TV shows and movies and get the idea that we believe we can vanquish demons our shoot sparks from our fingertips. We don’t sacrifice people or animals. We don’t manifest monsters to attack our enemies.
Magick is simple and complicated all at the same time. It can be as simple as making a wish before you blow out the candles on your birthday cake or wishing on a falling star.
The difference between Pagans and non-Pagans, is that we are aware of what we’re doing and we put more effort and belief into it.
Take this move, for example. Draco and I have known for a long time that we needed to get our own place again. We have been talking about it for almost 2 years, but we never put much of a real effort into it, magickal or mundane. The time was never right. Circumstances would prevent it. We couldn’t find a place that met our needs. There were many reasons why it hasn’t already happened, but the main one is lack of focus.
Several days before my mother actually died, she elicited promises from some of the key people in her and my father’s lives. I was no exception to this. The only person that knows even close to the extent of the promises I made is Draco. I tend to take death-bed promises very seriously because I believe that if you promise someone who is dying that you will do something and you don’t, it can keep their spirit from moving on to where it’s supposed to go.
In the months since she passed, I have given much thought to those promises. Some, I have already kept, others I haven’t.
Getting out on our own again was one of the promises I made, so since June, this has been weighing on my mind and heart. I have put much thought into the need to get a place. I have focused a large amount of my energy and mind towards it, while not actively looking. I knew that the God and Goddess would point me in the right direction. Granted, it”s taken 3 months for things to start lining up, but who am I to argue with Divine Planning?
This is how I try to live my life. I know what I need, and I am more than willing to take any necessary steps in my mundane life to make things happen when I feel the time is right (like telling people we were looking to move and having them on the alert that we were receptive if they saw something they thought we might be interested in), but first, I focus. I focus my energy towards what we need, and wait for the Divine to manifest it in my life.
Yes, we could buy a newspaper, go on Craig’s List, scoured the surrounding area for appropriate places, etc, and those things are starting to come into play now, but the first step for any Pagan is focus and trying to find the right timing.
The situation keeps changing, so I know that the Divine are still working it out on their end. I know they have something particular in mind, I just have to wait for them to make it known.
We were planning to move this weekend. To go ahead and take Mini-Me’s apartment to keep her from loosing it, but every time we start moving in that direction, there seems to be road blocks. Something comes up that gives me a bad vibe about it. Anyone who knows me well, knows that I depend heavily on “vibes”. It’s what others might call instinct or intuition. Usually, if something doesn’t feel right to me, there is a reason why and it usually ends up being a bad idea.
After discussing my feelings with Mini-Me, Draco and L, it was decided that we will wait.
I was worried about what would happen to Mini-Me if we didn’t go help. Unless she goes to live with her boyfriend, she doesn’t really have any options. Luckily, L is a very good friend and has offered to let Mini-Me stay here with us if she needs to, while we save up some money the month of October and the serious hunting will begin.
There are a set of apartments that Draco and I thought we might want, but after making a phone call yesterday, they don’t have anything appropriate for our needs available now. I’m wondering if that is because that is not where we’re supposed to be either.
At this point, I’m really hoping that all of this energy (and the money we need to save), manifests itself in time for us to move before Samhain (Halloween). If we are going to be moving this month, I would really like for it to be before then because Samhain is the Witch’s New Year. I want to celebrate that in our new place.
Wish us luck, and I will keep you posted!